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Faux Shagg

December 4th, 2006 (02:57 am)
current location: Off The West Coast
current song: Woke up this morning - Sapranos Theme song

*Head detonates with expanded pride.*
Recieved my test results last night from my 3rd class test...I scored better then 94% of the canidates that took it. Kinda scares me...heheheh. Now I can go and scrub the bulkheads and heads with my head a little higher...;).

Military Christmas
t'was the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.

Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
That nothing that flew could slip through our defense.

When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.

And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"

On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk,
And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock.
Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!

They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.

So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.

Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.

But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.

So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!

Comments

Posted by: boiler1 (boiler1)
Posted at: December 4th, 2006 11:22 pm (UTC)

i have been saying this for years. i question if it is safe to let some fat guy penetrate our air defenses one night of the year.
roflmfao

Posted by: Sarge (sarge104)
Posted at: December 5th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC)

I have it on good authority that he has obtained his green card and the health and safety administration checks on the elves workshop every once and a while. Though the sleigh has had a slight problem in Hawaii with the strict vehical emission standards...;).

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