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Out of character rant

December 18th, 2005 (06:06 pm)

current mood: aggravated
current song: Linkin Park - Points of Authority

Avert your eyes young ones... I think I shall detonate a small mind charge on this post.

I've worked jobs I've enjoyed and some I'd rather not do again but now I've finally gotten something from my work. I'm going to go to work in Hawaii, with this comes the opertunity to visit ports in Aulstralia, Asia, and anywhere else they care to send us. To get this I've challenged and bested thirteen other army, air force, and navel personnel. I've lived apart from my loved ones for over half a year. I've also given up nearly all the comforts I've earned from my past endevors to better myself.

Why in the fucking hell can't she realize that I miss her. Maybe I shouldn't consider being with her any longer. What would it be like if I refused to care any longer. Consider what would've happened if my ancestors turned their backs to the suffering of those that had faith. Maybe I should be the first to say; "FUCK YOU ALL!" Huh? What's that you say? Be nice to the stupid mother fuckers that don't give a shit...fuck it. Why should I care?

Maybe this is why... Around the 1420's my ancestors left their families, comforts of home, and safe surroundings to go and make a better future for not only themselves but for the thousands that carried the faith. It didn't stop there, after nearly being annialated by the head of the very faith that they swore to protect they went out and fought against those that would kill and plunder on the seas. From there they would find a new world fraught with its own dangers and dangerious ideology. Fighting for both the right of the states and for those that were slaves they killed one another. Now WE fight against those that would like nothing more then to terrorize. I don't have much of a choice in the matter. I could stay stuck in a small town with her or I can do my part to defend the freedom of millions. It's kinda like going to the club, you can sit at the table and watch or you can dance.


Posted by: ceri_eiluned (ceri_eiluned)
Posted at: December 19th, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC)

You do what you feel is right for you. I'm sure you have told her how much you miss her and that this is something u feel you need to do. If she can't see that you still care, then maybe you are right to wonder whether you should continue caring.
Here's the but. Is it really what you want?

From my experience, which is no way close to yours. My ex b/f lives about 300 odd miles from me. He used to live less than 100 miles from me, but I moved further north & further away from him. Not cos I didn't love him, but cos I wanted to live somewhere my mom grew up & somewhere I had always liked.
I don't know what he thought, whether he thought I was wanting to get away from him & I didn't really care about that. He was not ready for a proper relationship at that time anyway so to me it made no odds.
We broke up but remained good friends shortly after I moved.
Things have changed since then and now 8 months later, after us not even speaking for 2 months at the start, we are going back to how we used to be.

My point being, a break from someone can be a good thing even if you don't think it will be. I'm not saying you shouldn't care about her, it's not my place to comment, I don't know everything that goes on, but for me, it helped strengthen our friendship & made at least me realise how much he means to me.

*hugs* take care

Posted by: Sarge (sarge104)
Posted at: December 19th, 2005 09:01 pm (UTC)


Thanks, some food for thought. I am trying to go and see her next month, from that I will decide what to do. :)

Posted by: ceri_eiluned (ceri_eiluned)
Posted at: December 19th, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC)

best not to rush into something u might regret later.

Let me know how things go, and if I don't get to speak to before, have bloody fantastic Christmas! *hugs*

Can you sense the britishness there???

Posted by: Sarge (sarge104)
Posted at: December 20th, 2005 01:27 am (UTC)

I believe some just dripped from the ceiling ;). *Hugs*

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